A few things about myself have come to my attention recently. Things that, for most of you I'm sure, has always been common knowledge. But, for me...recognizing something seems to hit in a sudden moment. And when it does, it's like a jolt, an awakening... kind of like when I discovered at four years old that "there's chicken in this chicken!!"
It amazes me that it's taken nearly eight years of marriage for me to realize that when it comes to my role as a wife and mother, I tend to just "go with it"...to do what's expected of me, get things done, and not complain about it (too much) because noone wants to hear my boo hooing anyway! I have noticed that this is not always healthy. In fact, it seems to make me a much more tense, over the top, stressed out mommy and wife. I miss out on the little things that bring life joy, because I'm looking ahead to the next step, worrying about what needs to be done right this minute or tomorrow. Bottling up my emotions until I'm ready to explode with tears of frustration.
Basically, mom needs to CHILL OUT.
Its okay to slow down. It's okay to enjoy little moments. It's okay if the house is a mess. It's okay if dinner isn't perfectly placed. It's okay if the kids go without their hair combed. It's okay to to cuddle with my husband for five minutes while an argument is taking place in the back room. It's okay to take a moment to talk with baby junior and enjoy his companionship in my womb. It's okay to let my four year old fold the laundry. It's okay to stop what I'm doing to listen. It's okay to be late for soccer. It's okay! What's the rush? Time flies by too quickly as it is. I don't need to help it out by flying around like a mad woman.
So, I decided to make a few changes. It's never too late, right?
I'm not saying it's been an easy transition. But, I'm letting things of little importance go undone. IE: The husband could hardly believe I actually left the kitchen a mess the other night and headed for bed. That's right. I didn't even look at it. I just read stories to our babies, cuddled and loved them, then went to bed. I'm not a fan of washing crusty dishes the next morning. But, there was something satisfying in knowing that I went to bed with no regrets. Our kids knew that mommy loves them more then she loves a clean kitchen.
I'm taking the time to remember how to play. As a result, mommy dates have become much more frequent. I take advantage of my one on one time with Minnie while her big brother and sister are in school. For example, ever since Grandma Edie got her a happy meal a few weeks ago with a "toy", she's been asking to "go eat food inside with a prize". Instead of telling her "another day...when mommy has money", I thought, what the heck! I'll find enough cash to make this little girl smile today. So, we splurged and got a happy meal with a prize, and ate it together on a little table just her size. She smiled and beamed all week over that happy meal and time with mom. Also, Princess and mommy went to the mall and rode the carousel, got an ice cream cone, talked about her future plans to be a doctor, marry dad, and have ten babies, then learned about modesty while shopping for a new Sunday dress of her choice. She makes me laugh and reminded me how quickly our girl went from a toddler to an energetic, spunky little girl in the blink of an eye. I'm happy to say that it doesn't take much to make a sweet memory with my little girls.
{Dad and Sport at the BYU vs. University of Idaho game. FYI: BYU wins it 45 to 7!}
Sport prefers daddy dates these days... It's all about rock climbing, 4wheeling, hiking, sports, or some other activity that his big ol' pregnant mommy can't handle at the moment. So, we have our one on one time after the girls are tucked in bed, and I look forward to it! I sit on the edge of his bed and he tells me aaallll about his day and his plans for tomorrow. Lets see, the other night I learned that he asked his all time crush (since kindergarten) to marry him in a "special place" on the playground. When I asked him what her response was, he said, "Well, she said that getting married is kind of expensive...with the wedding clothes, gas to the temple, and finding a ride. So, maybe you could drive us, mom?" HaHa! Oh dear...smart girl! I reminded him that he still had a mission to serve before he could even think about that! His response? "*SIGH That's going to take for-ev-er!!!" At least he hasn't tried to kiss her yet. He promised that those are still saved just for me. Phew!
I love our kids. I love my time with them. I love their quirks. I love their stories. I love their hugs and kisses. I love watching them grow.
Speaking of growth... baby number four is growing! And I'm determined to enjoy this pregnancy. I feel like I nearly missed my last three. They happened so fast that the new born faze is such a blur in my mind. I had to be in so many places at once and they just grew in the process. I'm going to take the time to enjoy having a new born, to cuddle our kids and eat up my time with them. Tomorrow will come, today is now...and once it's gone, only memories remain. I want to be a part of their memories.
I'm also paying more attention to my superhero of a husband. The small, simple things that let him know I love and appreciate him are so important. Especially since life is only going to get busier with a new little baby! It's not always easy to stop in the middle of doing homework with the kids, washing dishes, folding laundry, fixing dinner, etc. to hug and kiss him when he walks through the door after a long day at work. But, it only takes a moment, and he IS the most important person in my life. I would be incomplete without him, and taking five minutes to let him know that has made a world of difference in my connection with him. It's easy to allow ourselves to get wrapped up in our kids lives and forget to wrap our arms around each other.
So, here's to chilling out and taking time to enjoy being a wife and mommy. There's no hurry. I'll worry about tomorrow...well, tomorrow!
