Set Back

We were so excited to be able to hire a painter for the inside of our house, because we've been in over our heads. 

SO, you can imagine our dissapointment when we walked into our freshly painted house to find the paint bubbling and pealing off the walls! 

The painter we hired skipped priming the freshly textured walls and went right to the paint (trying to save himself a little time and money). 

We are STILL paying the consequence for his dishonesty!

I don't know if you can see it very well...

The paint on our walls was just pealing (falling) off and bubbling all over.

Needless to say, the husband and I spent the next couple of nights painting ourselves...

Those were some very long, crazy nights!

I'm pretty sure we got a little high on fumes....

 

Once we painted as long as our eyes could stay open, the husband headed to work, while I played the zombie mom. 

I'm so glad that's behind us now. 

Lesson learned! 

And our walls look amazing :)

Almost A Mommy Again

{I shouldn't say "Almost", I AM a mommy again}

Don't judge me too harshly for posting this.  I needed to share my feelings, in writing, with someone.  And I also figured that I might as well post this for those that don't know.   It will make it easier on me later.

We recently lost our fourth baby.  It's been hard, and I have felt like such an emotional wreck up until our last ultra sound when my midwife told me that it was okay to cry (I'm still an emotional wreck, but I don't feel so silly about crying my eyes out). This was a loss for me.  It took us a little longer to get pregnant with this one, and even though I had only just ended my first trimester,  I was excited to cradle another baby, and we were looking forward to finding out the sex in 7 weeks!   I had made it through the morning (night in my case) sickness and fatigue...that's always a happy time.   I couldn't wait to share our good news!  Now I wouldn't mind having that nauseousness back again. 

I woke up one morning to cramping and a loss of blood (sorry if that's too much information).  I really didn't think too much of it until the cramping started to become nearly unbearable.  I immediately felt that something was very wrong, but didn't want to believe it.   JP gave me a Priesthood blessing, and I was told that everything would work out for the best.  I tried to take some comfort in that and waited out another day.  That night was very long.  I felt as if I was in labor, and had contractions every 3-5 minutes.  They were strong enough that I couldn't sleep through them.  I called my mom that morning in tears.  I knew then that our baby was gone.  But, I wanted an ultra sound for some peace of mind.

Thanks to my sister for watching our kids, we got right in to see my midwife.  I could barely walk the pain was so intense.  I didn't understand how such a small thing could cause so much discomfort!  When I asked about it,  I was told that I needed to picture my birth canal like a straw, unprepared for labor, trying to pass everything through.  It has been a very long week.  Until now, I had no idea what to expect from miscarrying.  I found it to be painfully exhausting-both emotionally and physically. 

JP and I weren't quite prepared to see our baby.  I didn't really think that we would.  And I secretly hoped that maybe I was that one in a million that had some false alarm.    But as soon as our midwife placed the monitor on my stomach and I heard her say, "I'm so sorry," I knew that in the back of my mind, I'd known for a while.

Our baby was still completely intact in the womb.   For some reason, she had stopped growing while everything else continued to grow as if nothing was wrong.  So, my uterus measured at 13-14 weeks and our baby measured a couple weeks behind that.   I wasn't ready to see our baby looking completely healthy, with little arms and legs.  The only thing missing was the glorious sound of a heart beat.  I admit, my emotions got the better of me.  My heart ached.  And I wished that things could have been different.  

Of course, I realize that something just wasn't right and that it was natures way of taking care of things.  I'm glad it happened when it did, rather then at birth, or further along in my pregnancy.  But, it may surprise you to know how attached I was to this little thing already, and how many tears I cried over losing her.  I feel a new kind of compassion for those many mothers that can't conceive, or have lost their babies either through miscarriage, at birth, or some other way.   Although I experienced a miscarriage early on in pregnancy, the loss was close to my heart, and I can only imagine with a little more clarity what so many women must feel or have felt during similar circumstances.

I'm so grateful that the Lord knows us personally and is aware of our needs.  He blessed us with some closure, and we know our baby is a little girl.  She's a part of our family, and I take comfort in knowing that one day I'll get to hold her-whether in this life or the next, I don't know.  But she's real, and I'm her mother.

I'm especially thankful for children to hold.  That we have three healthy, beautiful kids.  I feel truly blessed by the Lord.  He's aware of our family and has brought peace to my heart.

My Brother

Timothy John

Tim the Giant married into a family of smurfs. Or, at least, his size made us feel that small. I first met Tim when Andrea used me as her getaway car while she was spying on Tim at his college apartment. She finally decided to stop spying on him and go say hello. She had me come with her as an excuse to see him. “I just wanted you to meet my little brother JP” Her real intentions were to spend some time with the man she wanted to marry, without coming across as being too obsessed. I don’t remember saying anything to him, just looking at how tall and ripped he was. He showed me his snow board and Mountain bike. As a 15 year old boy, Tim was my new Idol.

Tim was a practical joker. When Andrea first brought Tim to meet the family, he appeared to have a twitch in his neck. We tried to overlook it, until two months later when we realized his twitch was gone. I asked him what happened to his twitch? He smiled and said, what twitch? He faked the twitch for fun. Tim soon proposed to Andrea and they were sealed in the Mount Timpanogos Temple, on a VERY cold and snowy day.

While finishing his school at BYU, he became my personal trainer for free. Andrea, I think I still owe you a lot of money for Tim’s services. With his specialized training, he helped me pack on some muscle before my senior season of Football. I had some pretty lofty goals. I wanted to be as big and strong as Tim...that never happened. He taught me some really good techniques with weight lifting. He also taught me to work hard, if I wanted to get any results. I remember bragging to my friends when they would come into Golds Gym with me that this 6 foot 7 giant was my personal trainer. I still use his techniques when I work out. I would have liked to work out one last time with Tim.

Right before I went into the MTC Tim was not feeling good one day and he asked me to anoint him before my father gave him a blessing. I was very nervous and didn’t want to do it. At the time I was a little bothered that he asked me. I had never done it before and was angry that he put me on the spot (I use to get so nervous and intimidated when put in the spotlight). In hind sight I know that he was just preparing me for the hundreds of anointing’s that I would have to give in my mission.

Tim Graduated from BYU and accepted a job with the Federal reserve bank in San Francisco. We were all extremely sad when Tim and Andrea moved to California, however, it gave us the excuse for some good vacations. Except for the time we helped Tim and Andrea move from Walnut Creek to Natomas Park. Tim forgot to tell us that we would be digging trenches for sprinklers in the thickest clay ever discovered. I think we were all hoping for digging trenches on the beach instead. We spent hours and hours trying to dig one trench, until Tim decided to rent a ditch witch. I ran the trench digger into the side of the house. It ruined the stucco and messed up the side of their new house. Tim just laughed it off, after he found out the association would cover that damages.

Tim was my career and relationship adviser. A lot of us went to Tim when we needed help with a new business adventure or when we needed a listening ear to vent our relationship problems. I went to Tim for advice on where to go to school, what career to choose. He was good at not telling you what to do, but helping you make the right decision. He saved me on a lot of potentially devastating decisions. He was a problem solver.

Tim was the life of the party. We didn’t have to be doing anything at all. He just needed to be there, and we would have the time of our life. At all family gatherings, everyone always wanted to know if Tim was going to be there. We were always bummed if we found out he wasn’t coming. We all enjoyed watching Chris Farley Films, but nothing was more entertaining than watching Tim watch Chris Farley films. Chris Farley was 10 times funnier when Tim was around. I'm sure their up there joking around together. Tim cried the day Chris Farley died.

I believe Tim chose a wrong path for his career. He should have worked for a secret service as an official tickle torturer. He had experience in Jiu Jitsu and he loved practicing his moves on me. He would pin me in a position that was virtually impossible to escape from. Then he would tickle me. Not for a couple of seconds, but until it would hurt. He would tickle you until you were broken. Any one would talk under Tim’s Tickling.

What I will miss most about Tim were the times that he and I would read the Scriptures, and then do our best to interpret what they meant, and how they applied to our lives. He had a deep love for his Savior and great understanding of the gospel. He could love deeply like no one else could. He will be an asset on the other side.

We love you Tim, and we will miss you.

Your brother,

JP